$135M for a cornerback on a team that hasn't won a playoff game since '18—he's the best paid lifeguard on a sinking ship.
Patriots make Gonzalez NFL's highest-paid cornerback
The Patriots made Christian Gonzalez the NFL's highest-paid cornerback with a four-year, $135 million extension, locking up their best young defender just before the season opener in Seattle. The deal signals a rebuild around a bright spot on a roster with recent losing seasons.
Source: Patriots make Gonzalez NFL's highest-paid cornerback — Pats Pulpit
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 8, 2026.
Topics: christiangonzalez · patriots · nfl · contractextension · highestpaid · footballnews · nflnews
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