Business news memes
The best business news memes, made fresh daily by Jester's AI from real business stories. Tap any meme to read the take and the story behind it.
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It is truly brave of American Express to win an innovation award while their tech support still feels like it was coded on a dial-up modem in 1998.
The bank is finally fighting the cost-of-living crisis by making sure the people who cause it can afford to be comfortable while they do it.
Imagine holding out against the internet for twenty years just to charge five pounds for shipping on a three-pound t-shirt.
The concert industry is just five guys playing a permanent game of musical chairs to see who gets to be the face of the next price hike.
The only thing missing from the authentic Primark experience is a total stranger shoving me in a queue while I'm just trying to pay my electricity bill.
Escalating conflict in the Middle East is once again dictating the cost of modern life.
The only thing more fragile than a high-street marriage is a quartz movement.
The only thing more 'affordable' than a Bathla project is the look on a developer's face when he realizes he just bought the whole neighborhood.
Publishers treat indie devs like a first date where they expect you to pay for dinner, bring the wine, and do all the cooking.
The Nasdaq is really letting the guy who runs a rocket company like a chaotic group chat decide the future of the S&P 500.
At this rate, the only way I'm filling my tank is by selling my internal organs to a hedge fund.
Next really spent thirty million in court fees just to prove that paying women less is a hobby, not a policy.
The studio that built a career out of satirizing corrupt corporate greed is now doing a live-action method acting tribute to the villains.
The government is suddenly acting like that friend who 'forgot' they owed you twenty quid until you threatened to stop buying their rounds.
My financial advisor says I need 'market exposure' and honestly, the sheer sight of my portfolio balance is exposure therapy enough.
We've reached the point where a 'Stocks and Shares ISA' is just a high-brow way to describe betting on which corporate ship sinks first.
Finance bros are currently acting like they discovered a rare species, when they’ve just stopped paying us in pocket lint.
The government is once again throwing millions into a 'Northern fund,' mostly so they can remember which side of the country isn't London on a map.
We really let them turn a holiday about historic labor strikes into an excuse to fight over discounted smart-blenders in our pajamas.
STIHL boss suggests working for free as if he's cutting wood and not just his own profit margins.
The fastest way to get your invoice approved in corporate India is to ruin the brand's reputation on main.
Imagine building a business from scratch just so the Treasury can treat your moving van like a bank heist.
Because nothing says 'nurturing the next generation' like a quarterly dividend that depends on how many minutes of crying you can monetise.
The British dream has evolved from buying a home to just outrunning the interest rate until you simply dissolve into the property ladder.
Finally, I can afford to buy a window-less shed in a suburb I can't pronounce.
When the disruption app finds out that 'local transit' doesn't care about your venture capital burn rate.
We really put the arsonist in charge of the post-fire forensic investigation, huh.
Marketing departments really are just three raccoons in a trench coat trying to reach the 'out of touch' quota before lunch.
The only thing more delusional than a Sydney real estate agent is my bank account's belief that a 5% drop makes a $10 million tear-down 'affordable'.
It’s not a sell-off when a sovereign wealth fund does it; it’s a billionaire just realizing the government is the guy who never picks up the check.
Britain's national food security strategy is just a fancy way of saying we're all going to become foraging hipsters by Tuesday.
The Netherlands just learned that keeping your savings in a friend's house is great until the friend starts acting like a panicked teenager with a credit card.
When a billionaire 'forgets' to pay you, it's a payroll oversight, but when I forget to scan an apple at the self-checkout, it's a federal crime.
Robert Kiyosaki teaching fiscal discipline is like a professional arsonist giving a masterclass on home insurance.
We really just invented the modern cable box to escape cable, only to pay Vodafone for the privilege of watching nothing on six platforms at once.
The economy is doing great, provided you are a line on a chart that doesn't actually have to pay rent.
Apparently, in Scotland, the only thing thicker than the accent is the audacity to pay employees in 'exposure' and hope.
The only thing more toxic than a KPMG office culture is the severance package that requires you to trade your soul for a signed NDA.
The only thing more desperate than a tech stock re-listing after a disastrous report is me trying to delete my browser history during a system crash.
John Morgan probably thinks a bathroom break is a strategy session for a hostile takeover.
Robert Kiyosaki is the only person on earth who can turn a billion-dollar hole in his pocket into a lecture on wealth management.
Wall Street is currently holding a moment of silence for all the portfolio growth we lost to world peace.
We've reached the point where the security guard is just a guy with a clipboard selling keys to the burglars.
Australian housing prices are currently pulling a disappearing act that makes professional magicians look like rank amateurs.
The erosion of essential local infrastructure leaves a hollow space in the community.
Turns out the floor was the one thing they couldn't stand on.
My Lloyds portfolio has been working so hard to break even that I’m worried it’s going to ask me for a performance bonus.
Victoria Beckham’s fashion empire finally made a profit, proving that if you try hard enough and are married to David Beckham for two decades, even a vanity project eventually starts paying for its own dry cleaning.
Turns out the easiest way to get the US Treasury's attention isn't money laundering, it's just being the bank that hits 'Reply All' on a sanctioned email thread.
Turns out the secret to retaining top-tier preschool teachers is just letting them skip the 60-minute traffic jam.
Tim Cook is finally leaving, and honestly, the most innovative thing he's done all decade is teaching us to pay $30 for the privilege of not having a wall plug.
Expecting your first index fund to pay for a retirement villa in twelve months is exactly the kind of main character energy we love to see.
It is truly special how we managed to invent the most advanced calculator in history just to have it confirm that the economy is a dumpster fire.
Most of us can barely manage a grocery list, let alone a 681-crore food dynasty.
CBA paying a massive fine for mishandling super funds is like a kid breaking a vase and then asking his parents for a reward for 'successfully cleaning up the shards'.
The Australian dream is just a twenty-year game of musical chairs where the music stopped in 2004 and we've all just been hovering in place to avoid admitting we're sitting on the floor.
Who needs a gym when you can get your arm workout churning date soft serve?
Banking cybersecurity is just three guys in suits playing musical chairs until they all retire on golden parachutes.
Mike Ashley complaining about 'populist' retail is like a serial arsonist criticizing your choice of fire extinguisher.
Probate is the only process on earth where your grandkids grow up waiting for their inheritance, and the lawyer charges you a fee to stop the clock.