Science news memes

Total landscaping budget for the last quarter-century: one crisp hundred. The Luna moths are thriving, the lawn-care industry is in shambles.

The last time those colors were this fresh, the paint was still wet and so was the pharaoh's to-do list.

The estuary's been through a rough patch, but with 12 groups on board and £4 million in the tank, it's about to get its groove back.

Somewhere a frog is watching his leg swim laps and reconsidering that fly he ate.

Finally, science confirms what every office worker knew: the most dangerous thing in the world is a 9 AM meeting.

Even the plant world has tech bros who skip the work and just absorb everyone else's nutrients.

I can't even get my freezer to stop frosting over and they're out here making ice that burns.

AEye's lidar is going to the Moon because it's the only place left with no traffic, no pedestrians, and no one asking it to find a parking spot.

Finally, a use for my landlord's 'security deposit.'

The zoo's foster program is so good, even the wild wolves can't tell the difference—though the pups might be confused about why their siblings howl with a southern accent.

In Kibber, the only thing colder than the winter is the reception a sick snow leopard used to get.

Move over, Myrtle Beach spring breakers — the real party animals here are five tuxedoed fluffballs who can't even swim yet.

FMCN and NTNC prove that the best way to protect nature is to actually ask the people who live there.

Great, another thing to get nostalgic about — now I'll miss my own smell.

Macs got a second chance with a machine that pumps like a champ, and now he's smiling like he just won the lottery.

Even the salmon are like, 'finally, someone fixed the plumbing.'

Your gut is already a fungus condo — turns out the landlord has your back against cosmic rays.

Vera just made sunscreen and plastic biodegradable—sunbathers and sea turtles can finally share the ocean in peace.

Teenage angst just got a sequel: instead of slamming doors, she's growing a second scalp in her stomach.

The 28-meter Spectrum rocket reached orbit just seven years after its founders were tinkering in a campus workshop.

Scientists spent years studying 1,900 kids to confirm what every cat owner already knew: the cat is fine, it's you who's the problem.

Great, now even the squid have better real estate agents than I do.

Humans: 1, Rats: 0, and the puffins are now the HOA president.

Now my underwear knows more about me than my therapist does.

Scientists: 'We found something weird!' — that's just their way of saying they left the detector on.

271 days on a pig kidney and the human one still acts like it did all the work.

Great, so now even the chimps at the zoo are judging my pronunciation.

Great, another reason to feel bad about my salad.

When your local river becomes a coho salmon timeshare, and the HOA finally fixed the entrance.

Red-light therapy to lucid dream, or just my office's fire alarm test? Either way, I'm not transforming into anything.

93% accuracy and it never needs a coffee break.

A genetically modified pig kidney bridged a man to a human transplant, a milestone in xenotransplantation.

A virus that's been quietly riding along in old books for 1,000 years — the original bookmark.

In the time this pig kidney lasted, Richard Slayman's human kidney transplant failed in 52 days—pigs are now outperforming humans at their own organ game.

We apologized to the thylacine for believing it was a myth, but the apology didn't work because it's still extinct.

Nature's HR department really out here assigning unpaid internships with zero exit interviews.

The only thing more extinct than the thylacine is the chance I'll ever find a deal like that.

A 17-year-old just made poaching a lot less lucrative, and the elephants didn't even have to ask twice.

Barn owls: proof that even nature has a tone-deaf friend who sings anyway.

Turns out the city's oyster habit is basically a marine restoration fund with a side of hot sauce.

Finally, a species that turns garbage into joy instead of turning joy into garbage.

The real Nobel committee is just jealous they can't hand out prizes for 'best excuse to skip a US conference'.

Guarding rice paddies from lemurs is now a full-time job — and the lemurs are winning the performance reviews.

Doris went from counting sheep to counting condors — the flock's up, the poison's down.

When your job title is literally 'turtle woman' and you still make it to 208 releases — that's a career mode we can all aspire to.

The okapi's been hiding from science since 1901, but it can't hide from poachers—good thing it's got 330 rangers and four decades on its side.

Nothing says 'keep out' like a fence that doubles as a fruit salad.

Saturn has a ten-sided storm at its south pole, proving the gas giant's weather is into geometric shapes.

Snake embryos have better instincts than my GPS, which still thinks I live at my ex's place.

Even in the universe's most exclusive club, 'we have detected something' still means 'we have no idea what this is.'

OM331: the only commuter who takes longer to commit to a shortcut than I do to replying to a text.

After 200 days of room service, Crush swims off like she's leaving a five-star resort—except the bill is 1,500 miles of ocean.

Only 70 bigfin squid sightings ever, but somehow they're still more discoverable than my purpose.

Who needs mountains when you've got cornfields and golf courses?

When your middle-school science project outperforms the government's billion-dollar equipment, it's time to update the lab's LinkedIn.

Finally, a way for researchers to annoy lab rats from the comfort of their own continent.

Wall Street's ideal cure: one that treats the stock price, not the disease.

The universe is eating itself while my landlord still raises rent because 'market demand.'

A 12-year-old's future family is already on ice — literally the coolest head start ever.

My superpower is holding my breath for 13 minutes, but only when the WiFi cuts out.