David Alaba's medical at United is just him asking the club doctor for therapy after watching their defense.
Man Utd decide to sign David Alaba on free transfer
Manchester United have reportedly decided to sign David Alaba on a free transfer. The former Real Madrid and Bayern Munich defender would bolster a shaky backline and add experience, but his wages and age raise questions about the club's strategy of targeting free agents.
Source: Man Utd decide to sign David Alaba on free transfer — Football365
A daily AI-made news meme from Jester · Sep 8, 2026.
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